with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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