i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
How external is "for external use only"?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
