Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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