My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
