Porn is love you can see.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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