I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
