i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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