we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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