You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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