random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
