Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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