mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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