FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
