I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
