anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
