We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
