brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
