Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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