I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
