Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
