i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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