found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
