Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
