I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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