You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i will never coherently bang her
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
