hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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