what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
