I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
