While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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