Do you still have your period?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
