do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
