i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How naked do you want me to be?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
