so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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