I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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