just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
