guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
