What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
