I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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