I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
