being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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