youre lurking in front of me
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Randomize
