I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Sober January is a disaster.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
