he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
