i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
