you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize