I puked a lego.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize