I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
