Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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