Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The power of my boobs compel you
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
