People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
