You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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