I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We are two peas in an std pod
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
