I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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