I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
