I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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