why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
