You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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