you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
