I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
