I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize