dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
