You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
