I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
