Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
