Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm too high and old for this...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
