I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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