Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
