Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
